Follows two infamous London gangsters, Mickey Mannock and Ray Collishaw. Both men are top of the food chain when their world is turned upside down as they lose a shipment of the Russian Mafia's cocaine. Infamous London gangster cousins, Micky Mannock and Ray Collishaw, are at the top of the food chain, when their world is turned upside down as they lose a shipment of the Russian Mafia's cocaine in rough seas. Set in London, Amsterdam and Berlin, the story races across Europe at breakneck speed as Micky and Ray attempt to stay one step ahead of the Police. Can they pull off a daring diamond heist in time to put things right and retire to a "legitimate" way of life. Do you remember the good old days, when an Englishman's home was his castle? When you could leave your front door unlocked? Every other person down your street was a Pearly King? and every night was spent having a sing-song around the old Joanna at the rub-a- dub, before doing the Lambeth walk all the way home? Well the makers of this film do .Every character in this formulaic tosh is either a cheeky, chirpy, annoying Cock-ernee or is a hulking, growling Jason Statham-a-like who'll screw your head off your shoulders for looking sideways at his pint. St Georges day seems to be aimed at a typical 15- 22 year old lads mag audience and fair enough, but there isn't enough meat on the bones here for even the most easily pleased "Nuts" magazine reader. The sex isn't sexy enough, the comic bits aren't funny and you'll see better orchestrated violence in any town centre Kebab shop on a Saturday night. The plot is paper thin (The Russian Mafia How very 80's .Missing Cocaine .How original "2 out of 10. See me at the end of class") <br/><br/>The acting is as wooden as a crate of light ale. And middle aged men ruminating on World war 2 and what being an Englishman is all about, still yearning for the good old days, just smacks of lazy writing & casual racism. At times this almost plays out as a recruiting film for the English Defence League. No doubt a few knuckle draggers will get something out of the casual violence, drug taking and football thuggery but everyone else please steer well clear of this load of old Pony* <br/><br/>* Cockney rhyming slang .Pony & Trap = CRAP I nominate this film for worst voice-over narration of all time. Director/star Frank Harper sounds like he has been forced to read out the phone book in its entirety. Talk about sleepwalking through a project, and it's his own bleeding film, guvnor. Now, Harper is no Danny Dyer, he more than looks the part when playing the London hard man and has been used to good effect by directors like Nick Love and Shane Meadows. Unfortunately, here he's directing himself in the sort of vanity project that would only get funded by the British film industry. He's recruited a veritable who's who of crap gangster and football hooligan films for St George's Day. And Keeley Hazell who gives one of the worst performances ever committed to celluloid. This truly awful effort takes you into a world of Peckham melts, ageing hooligans who keep going on about the war even though they've never been near one, uncharismatic, perma-tanned villains with a hard on for Churchill and cretinous hanger ons, just there to keep the idiotic plot ticking along. What do you mean, no thanks mate! This film is awesome in its crapness. It has no sense of its own absurdity, takes itself very seriously and is all the funnier for it. The only disappointment is that Danny Dyer doesn't turn up and glass a slag. Let's have a sequel please, set on Christmas Day!
Charlual replied
291 weeks ago